We’re all in it together

I have always been frustrated by people accepting intimate partner violence from men. Often the violent partner ran a popular business, was a respected fisherman or musician. Folks seem to insist it’s OK, he’s not a bad guy, just acting out of character.

A culture of violence can start with a barroom joke or dehumanizing language, calling a grown adult “girl” or using a slur to describe a person. Once a person is perceived as lesser, it’s easy to treat them that way. Our national culture increasingly promotes misogyny, cruelty and violence against women and femmes particularly. From the federal government, mass media, down to the hipsters who operate your favorite concert venue; even local religious groups.

You may have heard about threats and recent shootings at our local family planning clinic, which provides critical reproductive health services and education to people of all genders. Be careful not to conflate the important health care and community support these good folks provide with the fictional villainous image of reproductive health clinics promoted by some podcasters and political pundits. That is a dangerous misunderstanding.

In other parts of our country recently, large groups of men have organized marches chanting “your body my choice.” That phrase has turned up across the relative anonymity of social media as well. This is the same emotional immaturity and violence that drove young men to blow diesel smoke and curses at the local Women’s March a few years ago. It’s never too late to grow up, boys.

This community is home to many of the strongest, fiercest, most capable women and femmes that I know. Do not mistake their kindness and restraint for weakness. Do not assume they are alone.

Is this the kind of community you want? A place where we wonder if differing opinions might inspire another angry white man to shoot up our homes or businesses? The beauty of a small community is that each member can have a wider impact on the whole, for better or worse. Without being held accountable for the little jokes and aggression that grow into violence, these men will never change and the violence will continue.

Aaron Ford