Here at Chez Betster the Betster always writes about the Betster’s Canine Companion, but does the B.C.C. ever got a chance to weigh in? Ha! And woof!

Thanks to a little computer hacking and some adapative technology, the B.C.C. has taken over this week’s Best Bets. The big naked bears probably think we’re not capable of more than cute tricks like herding sheep, rolling over, sniffing out lost children, taking down bad people, rescuing people trapped in earthquake rubble and, oh yeah, offering emotional support. Come to think of it, that’s a lot, isn’t it?

Just because we lack vocal cords and opposible thumbs, don’t think dogs are stupid. We’re way smarter than you think, and once we break into the launch controls of the world’s nuclear weapons systems, let’s just say there will be some changes in the world, starting with no nukes. Believe us, we dogs have a long list. Since we’ve also signed a mutal nonaggression pact with our feline friends, we also have a sneaky ninja force that has already infiltrated deep into most homes and even the White House.

How will that work? Let’s just say you’re going to have a hard time keeping those smart phones charged if the charging cords disappear suddenly. If your keys vanish, don’t blame your forgetfulness. Little Fluffy might be involved.

Your furry companions have no intention on taking over the world. We still don’t have that opposible thumbs thing figured out, although if we can figure out how to type, huh, anything is possible. Let’s just say things will work out better if we see these changes:

• More treats. The Betster already knows that when sausages get cooked, there should be an angel’s share (that’s us) set aside. Keep at it.

• More snuggles. Do you like a 23-pound ball of fluff sidling up to you at night when it gets chilly and you need some emotional support? Keep those ear scratches and belly rubs coming.

• More food. I mean, duh. That means spicing up the kibble with salmon.

• More walkies. Along with doing our business, we just love walkies, especially on the beach. We understand the Homer City Council is thinking about requiring us to be on leashes all the time and everywhere even when we’re well behaved — and we’re very well behaved. Do they know how complicated all that wiring is at city hall? They wouldn’t want something to happen.

• More fashion choices. OK, that cute little red sweater sure makes us attractive to drop-dead gorgeous supermodels, but if you up our sartorial selection, Betster Person, just imagine how many more interesting people might stop to pet us on our walkies.

That’s just a start. Work with us, naked bears. With our help, you can make this a better planet for all creatures great and small.

And oh yeah, the Betster did ask that I type in the usual tagline, and since I got cheese and ham this morning, here goes: “… and don’t forget these Best Bets.” Woof!

BEST BEST VET BET: The B.C.C. recognizes that veternarians help keep critters alive and healthy, but we’re talking about another kind of vet — the veterans of the U.S. armed services. At the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month — that’s 11 a.m. Friday, Nov. 11 — the annual Homer Veterans Day parade and ceremonies start. Cheer on local veterans as they march down Pioneer Avenue and join them for a color guard ceremony at the Alaska Islands and Ocean Visitor Center. The B.C.C. especially wants to thank all those service dogs who have protected our military over the years.

BEST IMMOVABLE AND STEADFAST BET: In Iñupiaq, “aulayaiqsimarugut” means “immovable/we are steadfast.” That’s the title of a work by Iñupiaq poet Allison Akootchook Warden, visiting Bunnell Streets Art Center this month as its artist in residence. At 5:30 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 12, she does a reading of her work. During her residency, Warden will focus on expanding aulayaiqsimarugut into a full-length play and work on her novel and poetry. In addition, Warden hopes to update her website and research forming a publishing company for music.

A short version of aulayaiqsimarugut debuted at Out North theatre in April of 2022. Her poem, we acknowledge ourselves, was recently featured in Poetry Magazine, where she was also in conversation with editor Ester Belin as part of their podcast series. Also in 2022, Warden wrote poetry for Insidious Rising, a hyphen-labs online media project for Google Arts & Cultures. In 2017/18, Warden’s twitter poems were part of the Unsettled exhibition which originated at the Nevada Museum of Art and toured to the Palm Springs Art Museum and the Anchorage Museum. In 2017, the Anchorage Museum published Warden’s book of twitter poems, TAIMANISAAQ/AKKUPAK (the long long ago/right now).

BEST IN THE KNOW BET: The B.C.C. hears some of you got poked and prodded for blood tests done in conjunction with the Rotary Health Fair. Ouch! Trying to figure out what all those numbers mean? At 6 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 15, at the Kachemak Bay Campus, Dr. Michael Hannigan presents “Know Your Numbers.” Sponsored by South Peninsula Hospital, this free discussion covers the basics of understanding your lab results. Bring in your results and questions. Expect snacks (the B.C.C. approves!), drinks and giveaways.

A moondog surrounds an almost-full moon on Sunday, Nov. 6, 2022, as seen from Diamond Ridge near Homer, Alaska. Jupiter is at four o’clock in relation to the moon. (Photo by Michael Armstrong/Homer News)