Homer Alaska - Oped -

Story last updated at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, September 17, 2008

McCain, Palin bad for America



By James Donally

I believe that the McCain-Palin ticket is bad for America. To this effect I tell you my story:

I am a pious Scots-Irish Presbyterian Christian. My people, Scots-Irish Presbyterian Christians, came to the Colonies 300 years ago. Pious we were, but rowdy, too, and we irked the Puritans (Congregationalists) so much that they gave us the bums' rush. We got strung out along the Appalachian trail from Western Pennsylvania to Georgia. The Virginia plantationers (Anglicans) didn't like us either and said "Get out, hillbilly." We said "No" in a kind of fighty, rude way. They couldn't get rid of us so we got hired to fight the Cherokee who wanted their stolen land back.

In ancient times we considered ourselves civilized, but others called us the "tough barbarians from Scotland." The Romans noted our toughness and so deployed us against other barbarians who kept trying to knock down Hadrian's Wall. The pay was good and the arrangement lasted until the collapse of the Roman Empire. Our economy turned to chicken and turnips. Then one of our lads walked so far that he discovered the Irish Sea. We set our basket-boats on the sea and discovered Irish people. Irish folk are very much like Scottish folk except that they talk funny. The Irish set their baskets on the sea as well to go to Scotland and Scots-Irish was invented.

The Irish side of the sea took up the Catholicism of good monks who came all the way from the Mediterranean Sea. Much later the Scottish side took up Presbyterian Protestantism when it became available (from England). Fully Presbyterianized, the Scots-Irish set out for America.

We became isolated in America's wilderness and our minds became as tribal as the Indians around us. The Presbyterian minister was chieftan and was as handy with the flintlock rifle as with King James Bible. Lucky for the clan the fierce elders couldn't keep a grip on young men with hankerings. The Cherokee wives they brought back enriched our bloodlines and saved us from imbilicility.

By the first third of the 19th century it was evident that America had prospered and matured. She skillfully kept out of European wars, developed her infrastructure and built up an impressive merchant marine. Government land give-aways opened up opportunities for all.

Then the Civil War came to ruin the South. Even the excellent (largely) Scots-Irish Confederate soldiers couldn't save her. The South has never fully recovered even to this day. Is it the post-war confusion and dislocation that so debilitates its population? Yes, of course. But why did the North seem to profit from war so handsomely even though her soldiers suffered too? Perhaps it was the custom of the time victor takes all. (The Treaty of Versaiiles is an example.) A more modern mind would say "Why not a Marshall Plan to bring the South into the fold? She could be our customer and competitor in harmonious trade." But that was then and is not now.

Historian, lawyer and novelist John Grisham ("The Client," "The Pelican Papers," "The Rain Man," "The Runaway Jury"...) who grew up in Mississippi said: "In the South the poor guy always votes for the rich charlatan who will sell him down the river. The charlatan says, 'The magic made me rich and it can do the same for you.'"

The charlatan says "Let's have Georgia Gas and Electric locate here so you can get lots of chromium 6 in your drinking water. You won't do class-action suits, will you? Of course not! GGE has the magic of jobs, jobs, jobs."

But as a whole, we are not all that gullible or desperate or greedy. We are generally capable of critical thinking and our interest in our families keeps us calm. We are now Presbyterians, Baptists, Southern Baptists, Church of Nazarene, Bride of Christ and some Roman Catholic. We talk about relatives, babies, the preacher, husbands, grandpa's new hip replacement. The hottest topic "whose daughter went to get a you-know-what operation" we generally keep within the confines of clan. We are private. We are family. We are tribe.

But a national election is near, a war is continuing, and John McCain (Bush's copy) has a good chance of getting elected even though everyone hates the war. Why is this?

It is because important national election issues (Iraq, health care, national debt, mortgage crisis) have to compete for attention with issues that would best be discussed at local levels (gay rights, choice/abortion, gun ownership). The arch charlatan Karl Rove realized that abortion and gay rights issues could become hot nationally if only some gasoline were poured on them. He tells the GOP, and the GOP punts money to Rush Limbaugh who shakes those issues like a terrier on talk radio.

After a while flocks are telling priest and minister that something has to be done about those who might destroy our family values.

Magic, magic, magic. The magic of distraction.

Let's talk about the magic of craziness.

"So Sarah," says the CNN interviewer, "You said that 'God tells us that invading Iraq is the right thing to do.'"

If you as vice president replace old triple-bypass John McCain, and a really, really tense moment comes, who is going to tell you to push the RED BUTTON on say, Uzbekistan should she become very naughty? Will it be the ghost of John McCain? Will it be Mr. Focus-on-the-Family James Dobson? Will it be God? Don't forget, Sarah, you could get lots of points from all rapture-oids in heaven if you start Armegeddon.

I am a pious, Scots-Irish, Presbyterian Christian and I think the McCain-Palin ticket is bad for America.

James Donally lives in Homer.

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