Holy Spike Fork, come the opening of hunting season Wednesday, no sooner could you sight in your 30-ought-six than every legal moose south of Clam Gulch crossed the Homer city limits and came into town, where the browse grows like pushki and you can't even hunt with a slingshot. Tourists, if you want to photograph moose from the comfort of your motor home, just cruise within the city limits, and you're bound to see enormous ungulates smug in their sanctuary.

OK, maybe it only seems that way. Now starts the season when vast numbers of Homer men and a few women head to moose camp, allegedly to bag 1,000 pounds of fine, free range wild meat. Once you add up the cost of four-wheeler fuel, camp supplies, rifle ammunition and all the gee-gaws guaranteed to bag a moose, or at least keep you dry doing so, it might be cheaper to get some of that mail-order specialty beef.

Who said this was about food? We're talking male bonding, holing up in a Caribou Hills hunting shack, just you and your best buds. Silent, strong men head to the hills with their friends, and who knows, share feelings, beat drums and do all that Iron John stuff. What happens in moose camp stays in moose camp.

For those left behind, rent a few chick flicks, tell the kids to do their homework and hey, why not check out a few of these Best Bets?

BEST YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK BET: "We're from the government and we're here to help you" might be a libertarian's nightmare, but when you're talking a research project to update sea charts for Kachemak Bay, hey some might say that's money well spent. Check out what the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has been doing for Hydropalooza, its seafloor and coastline mapping effort. NOAA holds an open house on the Fairweather and Rainier from 2-4 p.m. Saturday at the Homer Harbor. Meet the crews and see all the cool high-tech equipment.

BEST PRACTICE, PRACTICE BET: How do you get to Alice's Champagne Palace? Take a right off of Main Street onto Pioneer Avenue, but like the old joke about Carnegie Hall goes, you practice, practice. A lot of fine bands have played at the old Club Bar. This week Rhythm debuts, led by Kady-Lee Hackett, starting at 9:30 p.m. Friday.

BEST GO BIG GREEN BET: This soggy summer might have been rough on tan maintenance, but it sure has been great for all things green. Out at the Kachemak Bay Lynx Golf Course, the greens are looking, well, mighty green. Celebrate a good walk spoiled on Saturday with the Seventh Annual Swede Carlson Memorial Golf Tournament. Registration starts at 9:30 a.m. with preliminary events and the tournament at 10:15 a.m. The fee is $20 and includes lunch and all fees.

BEST GO BIG BLUE BET: A long ferry ride to Kodiak took the starch out of the Homer High School Mariners football team, which might have explained why our boys in blue and gold had a rough go of it last weekend. Hey, it happens. They're rough and ready for redemption this weekend as the Mariners return home to take on the Houston Hawks at 2 p.m. Saturday at the high school field. With school starting Wednesday, football becomes the social event of the week. So hang with your homies, catch up on gossip and, oh yeah, give a big cheer for the mightly blue.

Homer's Best Bets