Homer Alaska - Announcements

Story last updated at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Homer's Best Bets

The Betster once had an editor who laid down the law regarding April Fool's jokes in newspapers. "We do not do that at this paper," he said to the staff, using his best mean-boss voice. "If I ever catch you trying to slip in fake news for an April 1 edition, you're history."


Photo by Michael Armstrong

Just steaming A plume of steam rises from Iliamna Volcano as seen from Diamond Ridge last Saturday afternoon. Iliamna remains at alert level advisory and aviation color code yellow. For more information, see story, page 3.

Holy Woodward and Bernstein! Some editors have no sense of humor. In this modern media age, where citizen journalists toss up any old story that fits their version of reality, you can understand veteran editors wanting to maintain credibility by the time-tested method of sticking to the facts. Facts can be funny that way. If you report what actually happened, even if it's not so good, readers tend to believe what you write.

That means no outrageous stories about aliens building secret bases in the Boxcars near Caribou Lake. No tongue-in-cheek yarns about mermaids singing off Bishop's Beach. No outrageous tales about the Homer City Council refusing to accept a council member's resignation.

Wait — that almost happened. See? That's the problem with this truthiness stuff. Strange stuff happens in a small town at the end of the road in Alaska. The weekly cops log is chock full of odd dramas. Living at the edge, nature creates its own oddities. Weird whales wash up on the Spit. Critters get all catty-wampus in the weather. We can have snow up to the eaves in the hills, but already bears have been reported coming out of their dens.

As the Betster has said before, "Reality is what happens when science fiction quits working." Who needs an April Fool's joke when the world already is a trickster?

Embrace that inner humor, Betsteroids. You're going to need it to get through the next month. It's getting warmer, the daylight hours are getting longer and the snow has begun to melt. Quicker than you can say "the end of the 27th Alaska Legislature," break up will be here. If you define break up as "the sighting of the first pothole of the season," it's already here. So watch out for those tire biters on Pioneer Avenue, keep it between the ditches and head out for these great Best Bets:

BEST GET UP STAND UP BET: Peace on people, with the annual Stand Up for Peace rally today. Sponsored by South Peninsula Haven House, that's a rally for peace in the homes and an end to domestic violence. Make flags from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. at United Methodist Church and then join the rally at the WKFL Park gazebo at noon. There will be speakers, music and refreshments.

BEST GET FIT BET: Not that we want to go all Grammar Police on ya, but you can't call something an annual event until the second year. Still, the Betster likes the idea of the First Annual Fun Run and Kick-Off Party and the ambition of the Kachemak Bay Running Club that this will happen next year. Join the party starting at 5:30 p.m. Friday at Alice's Champagne Palace. Run or walk 2 miles around town first and then join the fun.

BEST HOMER IDOL BET: Rock that Billy Idol attitude at Kachemak Bay Family Planning Clinic's Rockabilly Ball. Dress up, dress down or dress fine at the big do starting at 8 p.m. Saturday at Alice's. There's dancing, of course, a junkyard auction, raffles, a costume contest and even a classic photo booth. Proceeds benefit women and men's health programs at the clinic. A suggested pay-as-you-can donation of $25 gets you in.

BEST LOCALLY GROWN BET: Ahem, you folks at the First Annual Songwriters' Review, see above. That nit aside, it totally rocks that we have such awesome songwriters in town. Check out the local talent with Atz Lee Kilcher, John Cottingham, Tyler Munz, Katie Emerick, Luke Smith, Berta and Caressa when they perform from 7 p.m. to midnight Friday at Alice's. They'll be performing original material, of course. Admission is $5.

BEST BAD IDEA BET: No, not this event, but what the Harmful Legal Products and Family Night is trying to prevent. Getting high on legal products has gotten a lot worse since hippies tried to smoke the inside of a banana peel. Learn about abuse of harmful legal products like prescription and over-the-counter medications and common household products and how parents can prevent it. The event runs 5:30 to 7 p.m. today at Homer Middle School. Activities for kids are provided in the gym.