I am going to go out on a very thick limb and declare the silver run at the Nick Dudiak Fishing Lagoon deader than a seniors-only concert featuring Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem after activating her one remaining brain cell.
I had heard rumors that there were still some jumpers accompanying the incoming tides so Jane and I checked it out on Sunday.
There were only a few stalwarts flinging lead at what looked to be an oversized bathtub with nothing in it but a bewildered seal cruising around looking like it knew it should be somewhere else but didn’t have a clue of where that might be. The hapless thing was a fin flip away from qualifying as a member of the presidential cabinet.
Several years ago when we had a second run of silvers, things looked a bit different around the lagoon during late August.
Most of the tourists had thundered south in their motorized mansions with matching Shih Tzus fitfully napping behind the front windshield hoping their master wouldn’t make any sudden stops morphing them into pugs while the “for amusement only” rat terrier happily knocked itself dingy trying to kick the hell out of the weird creature in the bedroom mirror.
It was a quieter time and there was more room to prowl the shore stalking the larger, late run, cohoes. It was a quintessential way to end The Hole’s season, but no more. The second run looks like it’s gone unless Alaska Department of Fish and Game is kind enough to bring back what was promised when they cut the second run of kings so many years ago. There is an interesting history and stocking story to be told about the lagoon. Maybe, one day, it will be written.
Now on to more entertaining items such as positive proof that there is a difference between major tools and raving dorks in the human species.
Major tools are those individuals who insist on cleaning their catch inside one of the Taj Mahal two-holers at the end of the Spit just because they have running water. Anglers like that couldn’t win a checker match with a fish fillet so I don’t understand why the city bothered to post written proclamations stating such actions are a no-no.
Pictures of the cleaning procedure inside the commode with a red X through it followed by another depicting an apprehended miscreant with a stun gun pointed at extremely delicate target of opportunity should suffice to discourage future transgressions.
Raving dorks are the reprobates who take the process one step further and try to flush the guts down the throne’s throat clogging it up tighter than a penguin’s butt on an iceberg. I have freezer burned meat brighter than those pillars of stupidity.
Before we roll into the fishing report for this week, I’d like to announce that this will be the final fishing column for the season.
It was another great run especially because of all of the feedback, tips and tales many of you shot my way. If this wasn’t a family newspaper, I could have shared 98 percent of them. Some of you need to seek help.
Special appreciations go out to Carolyn, Carol, Lou, Gary, Jack and John who provided continuing excellent insights and information throughout the summer.
OK, here we go on the final lap.
Effective Sept. 1, the Anchor River, Ninilchik River, Deep Creek and Stariski Creek are restricted to one unbaited, single-hook through Oct. 31.
The waters upstream of ADF&G markers on the Anchor River, Deep Creek, Ninilchik River and Stariski Creek are closed to all salmon fishing, including catch and release, but open to Dolly Varden and steelhead/rainbow trout.
Salt waters: halibut
Halibut fishing continues to rumble along with some nice porkies being boarded and limits filling the holds.
Since halibut haven’t embraced the vegan mania yet, they still prefer herring on circle hook with a side of octopus tentacle dipped in pink salmon sauce that smells like a whale coughed up a krill ball.
Salt waters: salmon
Trolling success for feeder kings is reported as exciting as nap time on a Baja beach to moments of pure excitement when you think you might have had a strike out along Bluff Point and the south side of Kachemak Bay.
Boat hunters are reporting fair to decent battles with silvers near Bluff Point and offshore locations in Cook Inlet.
Other saltwater fishing
Fishing off the end of the Homer Spit can be an amusing way to pass the time. It’s like grab bag buying at a Dollar Store. You’re apt to drag anything in from a pollock to an arrowtooth flounder with serious dental problems along with Pacific cod, dollies and creatures that will crawl up your line to get to you.
No matter what you decide to keep, stay out of the bathroom with it, OK?
Lingcod season will remain open through Dec. 31. Ugly fish hunters (take that any way you want) are reminded that the bag and possession limit is two fish and the minimum legal size is 35 inches.
Fishing for the beauty-challenged critters and other rockfish improved last week.
The Kachemak Bay coho salmon gillnet fishery is over for the 2014 season. Please return your completed permit by Sept. 2 to the Homer ADF&G office.
Silver fishing in area streams is reported as good especially during the incoming tides. If you have the slightest clue as to what you are doing try fishing early in the morning and/or at the mouth of the streams during those tides
Captain Obvious says, “Fishing success for all species in the roadside streams will be dependent on good stream conditions. Currently, the streams are high and muddy due to recent rains and will continue to change with more rain throughout late summer and fall.”
Unless you have to wade though ankle high mud, expect good fishing for dollies in the roadside streams. There are several locations along the Sterling Highway and the south end of the North Fork Road that provide nice access to Vard fishing in the Anchor River.
Try fishing for dollies with small bright spinners, fly patterns that resemble fish such as muddler minnows, or egg patterns. If the water’s high and dirty, I guess you could try whacking the water with a stick or just go home.
Steelhead trout should begin entering the roadside streams with fishing success improving over the next couple of weeks.
The next series of clamming tides run Sept. 7-13.
Nick can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org throughout the winter unless the Seahawks are on TV, then fuhgeddaboudit!