You know how in the police blotter sometimes cops pull over motorists because they crossed the center line? Or, sometimes alert citizens call in a “report every dangerous driver immediately” complaint because someone weaves all over the road? Here’s the Betster’s question.
How the heck can they tell?
Sure, in summer when the lines have been freshly painted, the grass on the sides mowed and you can actually see the yellow and white lines on clear black asphalt, it’s easy to drive between the lines. You’d have to be drunk, texting or a tourist looking at moose to wander across the road. That is like so July, though.
Now? Even with the recent thaw, the Betster hasn’t seen a yellow line in months. The white line on the side? The troopers don’t call it the fog line for nothing, since it’s pretty foggy where that line might be. Heck, after the recent rains, we’re not even sure those white lines haven’t been washed into the bay. Shoulders? You want big shoulders? Try Chicago.
Here at Latitude 59 degrees and some change, in the middle of winter, to figure out your lane, calculate the existing width of the road you’re driving on and divide in half. If you come across a plow truck or a semi-tractor trailer, ease on over as far right as you can or you’ll be getting some new rearview mirrors. The best advice the Betster can give you for our roads these days is “Keep it between the ditches” — if you can find them.
Well, our plow drivers and graders are doing the best they can to whip our roads into shape. Keep ’er steady while you head out onto the big town for fun things to do, like some of these Best Bets:
BEST JUST SAY ROAR! BET: Celebrate January Mentoring Month with Big Brothers Big Sisters at a free showing of “How To Train Your Dragon” at 6 p.m. today at the Homer Theatre — because, you know, even dragons need mentors for all that fire breathing, wing flapping stuff. Before the movie starts, hear authors read their winning entries from the Mentor Writing Contest. There also is a free children’s coat give away sponsored by the Chapman School Student Association.
BEST THERE IT IS BET: Flash back to the 1960s with the Big Read Kick-off Party from 6 to 8 p.m. Friday at the Homer Public Library. The Betster has already read the Big Read book, “The Things They Carried,” by Tim O’Brien, and it’s one powerful piece of literature about the Vietnam War. Start off the event with music, movie clips and a costume party. There will be information on the Big Read and how to get involved. Another Big Read event is 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, also at the library, when Pier One Theatre actors do a reader’s theater performance of sections of the novel.
BEST CLEAN SHOES BET: The Homer square and contra dance community starts its winter season with the monthly dance. Get out your swirly skirts, fancy shirts and clean dancing shoes and get ready for a classic American aerobic workout. The dance starts at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at West Homer Elementary School. Admission is $6 and beginners are welcome.
BEST MEET THE GREETERS BET: Some of the first faces visitors see when coming to town are the great staff and volunteers of the Homer Chamber Commerce and Visitor Center. Lost track of who’s who at the chamber? Get up to date, meet and get reacquainted with staff and say hello to the new and returning board members at the chamber luncheon and annual meeting starting at noon Tuesday at Land’s End Resort.